How to Find the Right Parenting Therapist

Have you ever thought about looking for a parenting and connection therapist? Have you ever wondered if therapy could improve your relationship with your children and even with your partner? Many parents and families struggle day to day to have meaningful connections or even engage with one another.

At times, I imagine it can feel overwhelming to think about adding another appointment to your weekly schedule and opening what could feel like a "can of worms" when it comes to your parenting style. However, week after week, I meet with parents who initially felt overwhelmed daily, personally triggered by their child's behavior, or even hopeless about changing it. I witness the transformation that happens for them as they experience the connection with their partner and children they've longed for but didn't have the tools necessary to achieve.

I am a parenting and connection therapist, and I genuinely believe that every family can transform their relationships and enjoy a meaningful connection with their children daily. At the same time, I also know that not every personality or situation fits every therapist or even my treatment style. Selecting the right therapist will influence the outcome of your therapy and whether or not you continue working with someone long term. Knowing this, I've put together a list of my advice to inform how you think about therapy for yourself and your family. If you need further advice or have questions, please reach out to me.

4 Things to look for in a Parenting and Connection Therapist

1. Set up an initial interview meeting with your therapist.

Communication is the foundation of being able to work together as a team. Typically, at a first interview meeting with a new family, I ask how they communicate with their children and communicate with their partners. Both the therapist and yourself need to feel comfortable with one another's communication style to have the most effective therapy appointments. I truly believe the best way to help your child is to work together with parents to help them explore new communication styles that will result in a better understanding of their children.

2. Observe your child and ensure their comfort level with the therapist you're meeting.

There is an important distinction to make here: most teenagers and children don't usually act comfortable or excited about seeing a therapist initially. However, if they show up to the session and don't complain about not wanting to return, it is probably a good indication that they are ok with exploring this new relationship. In my experience, I have found teenagers to be incredibly timid about therapy at first. They may feel that the therapist is just there to "fix them" or side with other authority figures in their lives, assuming they are the problem. I take a very different approach and work to support both child and parent to model safety for all parties. Providing a safe place for everyone allows each person to feel connected to the therapeutic process.

3. Assess whether the therapist you've chosen can help you better understand your child's development and treatment.

A parenting and family therapist who has a deeper understanding of child development can help connect or fill in some gaps for you regarding your child's behavior. The therapist will be able to listen to the circumstance and behaviors of concern, analyze your responses and offer you some insight and perspective about the dynamics you're describing. Additionally, I have found that a therapist who has had extensive training along with a deep understanding of attachment and connection between parents and children will have the knowledge to help you better connect with your child.

4. Assess whether or not you feel the therapist is supportive of you and your needs as a parent, as well as your child's needs.

As a parent, your comfort level and how you feel are also essential to consider when choosing a therapist. It's crucial that you believe your therapist listens to your concerns, understands them, and can provide some context and support to both you and your child. In my experience, families need a safe space to discuss conflict and issues with someone who can mediate and function as a safe space for everyone involved. After years of practice and experience, I have mastered the delicate dance of building a connection and trust with a child and their parent. And it is a delicate dance indeed!

In conclusion

While it can seem overwhelming, parenting and connection therapy can be an experience that transforms the way you parent and how you experience these extraordinary relationships with your children. I have seen many parents personally heal as they explore therapy with their children and create meaningful connections that they truly desire.

When you're in pursuit of a parenting and connection therapist, remember these tips and also know that there is a good fit for you. It may just take a few tries to find them. As always, I am available to work with families and encourage you to reach out. Parenting isn't easy, and there will always be difficult days. Still, you can also achieve a connected and thriving relationship with your children. It is worth the time and effort to invest!